


“No importa la edad que tengas, el agujero en tu corazón creado por la ausencia de tu padre todavía te duele…”

by iZombi



Series: Immortal!Sabaton AU [20]
Category: Sabaton (Band)
Genre: Anger, Angst, CHECK TW, Character Background, Discussion of heavy topics, For another story, Heavy topics, Multi, RATED MATURE FOR HEAVY TOPICS AND MENTIONS OF OTHER HEAVY TOPICS, Resentment, Tears, absent father, backstories, child becomes a pseudo-parent for sibling, eldest child forced to grow up too soon, eventually being brought into a new-found family, exploring a character’s backstory, loss of a found family, mention of major character deaths, new found family, single mother of two, single parent, the ending serves as a transition, using the military as a form of escapism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-18
Updated: 2021-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-27 18:07:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30126762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iZombi/pseuds/iZombi
Summary: When Joakim Brodén came into the group of immortals he became the new youngest member of the family, something that used to be Tommy’s title. One of which he was more than happy to give away, as it drove him insane! But what drove him even higher up the wall was just how easily Joakim took the title… almost as though it was something that he wanted…In this story we explore just why that is; what happened to Joakim when he was younger? What occurred in his life that had caused him to join the military? And just why him accepting the title of “youngest” was so such an easy decision...
Relationships: Joakim Brodén / His father, Joakim Brodén / His mother, Joakim Brodén / His sibling
Series: Immortal!Sabaton AU [20]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2197443
Kudos: 4





	“No importa la edad que tengas, el agujero en tu corazón creado por la ausencia de tu padre todavía te duele…”

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CamdenNightingale](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CamdenNightingale/gifts).



> \- - - -  
> ALRIGHT PEOPLE, BIG DISCLAIMER AHEAD!! 
> 
> PLEASE READ:
> 
> 1) - This story is purely a work of fiction, I know absolutely next to nothing over the personal life of Joakim Brodén (front man of heavy metal band, Sabaton) so please take all of this with an EXTREME GRAIN OF SALT.  
> 2) - Any and all connections to the real world or correct assumptions where entirely by accident.  
> 3) – If and I mean IF ANY OF THE ABOVE TOPICS THAT WHERE MENTIONED IN THE TAGS UPSET YOU, PLEASE DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER.  
> 4) – This story pertains more to the fiction version of Joakim, not him in reality, that I have written for this AU called “Immortal!Sabaton”  
> 5) – So please, take ALL OF THESE into consideration when reading.
> 
> \- - - -  
> This fic is something that me and my dearest friend @CamdenNightingale where talking about as a part of an AU she is working on with the Sabaton Boys being Immortals, (think the TV show "The Old Guard") !  
> \- - - -  
> TW LIST:
> 
> ABSENT FATHER, ELDEST CHILD FORCED TO GROW UP, CHILD BECOMES PSEUDO-PARENT FOR OTHER CHILD, RESENTMENT, SINGLE PARENT, UNHEALTHY COPING HABITS, ESCAPISM… 
> 
> \- - - -  
> I hope you all enjoy reading it!  
> \- - - -

Joakim laid down on his bed and he softly cried onto his pillow, making sure to muffle his cries as he wasn’t in the mood to deal with anything let alone anyone,

Today was June the 20th, 2021 and it marked the celebration of the holiday named “Father’s Day”,

Joakim _hated_ this day, and he _hated_ the celebration of the so-called ‘holiday’,

He hated it so much so that he had to avoid using his electronics altogether because literally, everywhere he went, ad after ad would pop up and only to remind him of this holiday, and much like the heads of a hydra, cut one off and two more will grow in its place,

The damned ads were everywhere and he couldn’t escape them,

He bit back a particularly loud sob that wanted to creep out and he sunk deeper into his bed, allowing the bedsheets to cover his trembling form,

He wanted to be small again,

To be innocent,

To be unaware of the horrors of the world around him,

To be held,

To be loved,

But most importantly?

He wished he could have a father in his life…

_This begs the question…_

_What is a father to a child?_

_Do you know?_

_Because **I do…**_

_A father to his children is:_

_A protector_

_A rock_

_He who raises_

_He who protects_

_He who loves_

_He who disciplines_

_He who provides_

_Now dear reader, I ask you another question…_

_Do you know what happens to a child whose parent is absent in its life?_

_Do you know what happens when our children must grow up too soon?_

_**Do you know?**_

_**Do you?**_

Joakim felt his mind wander as he cried and he allowed it, because he knew he couldn’t stop from making himself sadder,

“ _It was the height of summer in 1980, and somewhere off in a hospital in Falun, Sweden Joakim Brodén was born,_

_As his mother had told him,_

_Initially, after his birth, Joakim was doted and loved on by both his mother and father,_

_He was their sweet little boy, so pure and innocent, full of love and joy,_

_That was at least until his sibling was born five years later,_

_Now a mere tot and able to walk around and talk all on his own, he gazed with eyes so wide they might as well have been saucers, to the newest addition of the family,_

_He immediately fell in love with his new sibling and adored the idea of a future playmate, a partner in crime to have all of his boyish adventures with,_

_His mother was glad for such a positive reaction from her eldest,_

_His father was less than happy to say the least, as another child meant more hours to be spent hard at work, earning enough cash to help his family thrive,_

_I believe that this was when Joakim’s world would slowly begin to take a turn downhill,_

_As his father spent more and more time working at his job, this meant he came home exceptionally late,_

_As well as overly drunk,_

_Like clockwork, when daddy came home, eight-year-old Joakim would approach him with promises of hugs and boyish-like excitement shining bright in his eyes,_

_However, his father would have none of it,_

_Too inebriated, he would always wave the young lass away, telling him to play with his sibling and not bother daddy as he was ‘too tired’,_

_Joakim would always nod and then run off to have fun on his own,_

_But from downstairs he’d always hear time and time again, mommy and daddy talk,_

_Slowly it would build up to where they’d be talking louder,_

_And louder,_

_‘ **CRASH!** ’_

_Joakim covered the ears of his tiny sibling who was only three-years-old and held them close,_

_Downstairs, there was no longer loud talking but a screaming match with the occasional crash and thud of what could be items being thrown about,_

_Joakim was used to this,_

_He **had to** because he needed to protect his best friend,_

_His sibling,_

_Suddenly when the noises ceased, he would shakily sigh in relief and convince his youngest to play with his toy tanks with him,_

_Together the duo would come up with the best stories,_

_Tales untold of great men and women who served in the army,_

_Saving the day and making a career of themselves,_

_A life that Joakim hoped to one day live through,_

_Fast forward and Joakim is now ten-years-old,_

_He’s sitting beside his sibling and aiding them with their math homework,_

_Originally his father would help them with this,_

_But not anymore,_

_That man was gone,_

_And all he took with him was the clothes on his back and his money,_

_Leaving a broken single mother to raise two children,_

_Joakim ‘didn’t mind', he convinced himself that if daddy didn’t love him, his sibling, and mommy then he would,_

_For he had a heart of gold,_

_That was larger than the world itself,_

_If he had to be strong for his mother and sibling, then he would do it,_

_No matter the cost,_

**_No matter the cost…_ **

_Joakim was now fifteen and his sibling was ten, he had to take up a job at his local pizzeria to help his mother who now worked as a waitress in putting money on the table,_

_Of course, his mother was against it at first,_

_But he would not relent,_

_He told her that he was doing this out of the good of his own heart,_

_He loved her and his sibling,_

_He wanted all of them to be happy and live a good life together,_

_Which is why he had to be strong,_

_For both of them,_

_At his words, his mother cried,_

_She held her boy closely to her chest and kissed his head,_

_Joakim knew why she was sad,_

_Ever since the day his father left, he’s had to do so much to keep things afloat,_

_Such as help with the bills,_

_Convince the landlord to not kick them out,_

_Help his sibling out with homework,_

_Hell, even attend the occasional parent-teacher conference too,_

_For a fifteen-year-old boy, this was not how he should be living his life,_

_He often had to cancel game nights with friends,_

_He couldn’t **afford** to be a **kid** right now,_

_No,_

_He had to be a man,_

_For his mom,_

_For his sibling,_

_Which caused him to be ostracized by the other kids,_

_He was weird and **no one** wanted to be his friend,_

_Eh,_

_That’s alright!_

_Joakim had convinced himself that he didn’t need any of them, after all,_

_He already had what was most important to him,_

**_At least that’s what he always told himself…_ **

_As late at night, his mother could always hear the poor young lad cry his heart out,_

_Cursing his father’s name,_

_Cursing at himself,_

_How he hated everything,_

_How he wanted him back,_

_How he wanted to have a normal life,_

**_How he wanted to have a normal life…_ **

_He always told himself that he ‘didn’t mind the extra work load’,_

_He always did,_

_He convinced his sibling and mother of that fact,_

_But slowly, that strong façade of his was breaking,_

_And they could both see all the pain he was carrying,_

_But they never said anything of it,_

_Because they knew that **it would only break his heart** if they knew…_

_Joakim was now thirty-years-old and he desperate to leave home again,_

_He had to left home when he went to college,_

_Those were by far one of the most fun years he’s ever had,_

_As he discovered himself more through parties, sex, and drug use,_

_Although, if were being honest,_

_When it came to drugs he didn’t like the hard ones, only cigars, and snus were his favorites,_

_Now back home, he no longer was a little boy,_

_He was a full-grown man and his sibling was finally an adult at the age of twenty-five,_

_So, he was more than free to leave and live his own life,_

_His mother even told him so,_

_At first, he hesitated as he didn’t want to leave them,_

_But they both knew just how much Joakim wanted his freedom again,_

_So, his sibling suggested that he go join the military,_

_It was supposedly a fun career as he would be constantly traveling and seeing the world around him,_

_He wouldn’t be stuck in one place,_

_And that was something they knew that he would **absolutely love** …_

_So, Joakim took his chances and enlisted in the army,_

_And he was surprised to know when he got accepted,_

_Delighted by the news he told his family who congratulated him with open arms,_

_And off he went,_

_The bird was now finally leaving the nest,_

**_For good…_ **

_When Joakim turned thirty-three while stationed in Argentina, was when he got the news of his mother’s death,_

_He had known for some time that her health was failing her,_

_So, he rushed off to his commander and asked for at least a weeks’ worth of leave to attend the funeral,_

_They granted him such a request and Joakim flew home for what would be the last time,_

_Because when he got there, after the funeral of his mother and sharing many tears with his sibling, did he never see them again,_

_The last thing he knew about them was that they had moved to Australia to live their life as they had gotten married,_

_They told Joakim of how they wanted to forget about their childhood,_

_They wanted to live their lives and not have to deal with the circumstances of how they grew up,_

_Which left a bad taste in Joakim’s mouth,_

_And he didn’t know why,_

_What he did know was that he was angry, and an argument ensues with him and his sibling after the death of his mother,_

_When he flew back to the base, he had tried to put on his best façade for his brothers in arms,_

_But they all knew,_

_They knew he was hurting inside,_

_They could tell when he would bitterly cry himself to sleep at night,_

_His quiet sniffles and occasional sob filled the otherwise silent room of thirty sleeping soldiers,_

_Little did he know that his life would take a turn for the worst when he’d hit thirty-nine-years of age,_

_As that was the day he and his brothers in arms were sentenced to die,_

_For not executing the plans of a mass murderer…_

_But it was **all right now** ,_

_He was **safe** ,_

_He was **cared for** ,_

_He was **loved** ,_

_As just like how he **lost** one family,_

**_He gained another_ ** _…_

_When he came into this new family unit he was quick to discover that he was the youngest immortal,_

_Aged only thirty-and-a-half, nearing on forty, he was the baby of this family,_

_Tommy, his newest friend told him of how happy he was to rid himself of that title,_

_Of how it drove him up the wall to be called a 'baby',_

_But to Joakim?_

_That was something he **dearly missed being called** ,_

_So, when the others quickly began giving him affectionate nicknames such as "baby brother", "little one" or "young one",_

_He gladly took them with stride,_

_He missed being a baby,_

_To be young and innocent,_

_Unaware of the monstrosities of the world around you and just how cruel it can be,_

_That was something he needed,_

_So, he would always find himself blushing and smiling like an absolute dork at the affectionate nicknames,_

_He adored them,_

_And for a moment, **he felt young again...**_

_This new family of his had promised to take care of him,_

_They promised him that he would no longer have to suffer,_

_And **they were right** ,_

**_At least for the most part,_ **

_Because you see,_

_Although there was nothing around to physically hurt him,_

_He was still haunted by his past,_

_Like a demon, it would always creep upon him when he least expected it,_

_And it was days like these where all he wanted,_

_Where all he wished for was that he had died on the day of his execution,_

_But he hadn’t,_

_So, surely this had to mean something… right?_

**_Right…?_ **

Joakim shakily sighed, he finally pulled his face away from his tear-stained pillow,

He wiped away at his tears with his hands and blew his nose on a tissue that lay nearby,

As he gazed out the window at the grey-blue sky he quietly wondered to himself,

‘ _Why am I alive…?’_

He sighed,

He **didn’t know** the answer to his question,

And quite frankly he **didn’t care** ,

He looked over to Baron, his faithful companion, and sighed once more,

He **could** spend his whole day in his room tucked away and depressed,

But he didn’t **want** to,

He didn’t know if he felt like talking to anyone,

But he did know that he didn’t want to be alone anymore,

So, he got up from his bed and walked out of his room,

Temporarily abandoning all his items for a change in scenery…


End file.
